Thursday, November 15, 2007

It's a Girl thing

Sometimes I hate being a girl. One of the reasons
on my list is that my body often deals with stress by crying. I hate crying (not always, I don't mind crying if it's for a good reason). But this whole crying while stressed out thing just makes me feel like such a girl!

The reason this all comes up is simply because yesterday was one of those days. I am buried so deep in my classes that I don't feel like I can come up for air. I need to have a meltdown and I simply don't have time for it. So, after I somewhat inappropriately let one of my professors have an ear full. I left the building and cried all the way home. And you know, not just crying but uncontrollable sobbing. In the end it made me feel better physically but it has been annoying my brain ever since.

Why is it that no matter what I accomplish in my life, stress can still reduce me to feeling like I need my mommy?

Right now, aside from the fact that I have a test tomorrow that I have no hope of passing, I feel better. I feel like I can really handle the rest of this semester. Of course my story may be different after taking my test tomorrow! Part of what got me over the hump is the simple realization that if I need to, I can just take my Proof Writing in Modern Algebra class over again next semester if I need to. I'm taking Linear Algebra for the 2nd time and I am really enjoying it AND understanding it this time around. So perhaps I just need to come to terms with the fact that my 40 year old brain needs to hear something twice to really get it.

And I'm OK with that!


Astaryth said...

Phhhhhttttt.... I often find these days that when I buy a 'how to' book about a program or device that the best thing for me to do is read it, play with said program or device and then in a couple of weeks reread the book. It is amazing how much clearer things are the second time around. I've just come to the conclusion this is how I learn. Sidenote: I also find I often enjoy a series of books (fiction) more when I read them the second time. I'm thinking both instances have something to do with that the first time I read I want to see what happens next. The second time I'm more relaxed... maybe?... Who knows LOL!

Two Write Hands said...

Kelly, I am so glad you wrote this post--you could have written it for me. Stressed out Emily=crying Emily, and I always loathe myself for the tears. Sometimes it's good to know I'm not the only one! :) Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm not exactly in tune with my tears. I cry at sappy commercials, OnStar ads on the radio and movies. Other times, when I could use a good cry I tend to studder and wish they would come. So, maybe it's not a bad thing, or a girl thing, but a good emotional release thing.........
Rebecca Anne~

Anonymous said...

I absolutely hate crying. I used to be so emotional, and here lately, I can't cry to save my life. I've been forcing myself to wallow & watch sappy movies, just to get a few tears out. And sometimes, crying is what absolutely is best for us.

Hugs to you, my dear. Have a good weekend, & I am sure you will be fine on the test ! :D

BosieLadie said...

Ya know, I had to take college Algebra twice... failed, failed hard the first time around. I did great in high school algebra and thought it would be a piece of cake... it wasn't! Anyway, passed the second time around. Crying... I find I'm doing this more lately than I have before. Just crazy times.
Hang in there... hope your test went well. You just have to pass.

Emily said...

I can so identify with this. No matter how infuriating it can be, this is the way God made us. I'm glad you're feeling hopeful again and that you're hearing the voice of truth. You're amazing.

redmaryjanes said...

Hi there! Thank you for dropping by my blog. I am the same way emotionally. I will cry out of anger and frustration moreso than sadness. I think it is outstanding that you have gone back to school. I think you should find a lot of pride in yourself for that. I hope your test went well yesterday. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

EL-EM-ES said...

(((((HUGS))))))) I couldn't have said it better. I hope you passed your test! I know that is stressful, aside from having other things on your plate.

Chris said...

How much better for you that you can let it out!! I think that the whole point of adult education is accepting that we all learn differently. My way is to do the readings, then ignore work and let it marinate for a week, then cram my papers out in one long allnighter!


Anonymous said...

Hope you are well & you had a good Thanksgiving!

Roy and Lori said...

Just wanted to say hello!
I think it is awesome that
you have chosen to go back
to school! "YEAH FOR YOU"
I hope you have a wonderful
holiday season. Take Care!

Janis and Les said...

I so understand how you feel. I hope you do well on your test! :) I have a paper due myself on Saturday that I need to finish yet--not sure when! :)

Have a great day!


Tammy said...

(((Kelly))) You are a wonderful example for your daughter, even when you cry. Get those ya ya's out and keep moving. :) HUGS


Merry Christmas!


Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas, my friend.
I hope you & the Princess are doing well. I miss you!

♥ xox

Jimmy said...

I had to be sure to come by and wish you a Merry Christmas! All the best to you, love ya

Louie said...

Hi Kelly...thought I would come visit you for a change!!!!! (since I NEVER do)

Your post reminds me of one that I would put up. EACH AND EVERY WORD YOU WROTE!!!! :) lol

I have a few days off of school right now but will be back to the old grind in a week again. Not nearly as many classes.

With the stress of stunts our oldest daughter has been pulling, well, I got a D in my English class when I was acing that class in my sleep. Stress has been high and the tears have been flowing freely for me. The worst part of it is is that I can so relate to you saying how you hate to be a girl in that sense. LOL

Been a heck of a holiday season and just cannot wait to start a new year. are great til they turn ugly in their teen years. (15 and up) Then it's at that time that I question my reasons for wanting them. Even though I wouldn't be who I am today without them in my life.

Such a confusing mix of emotions. Take care and hope you have a safe and happy new year.

Emily said...

Dude. Do you even remember how to blog?? :P