Saturday, December 24, 2005

Almost Over

Thankfully the holiday season is almost over. I guess by now there are lots of mom's feeling that way. Although we wait with anticipation to share our children's joy; it's just SO much work! I don't usually cook, or do anything specials. I've got it pretty easy in that respect. Tonight we'll enjoy dinner at my aunt's house. Tomorrow morning is Christmas at my parent's house. Just the five of us - me & princess, grandma & grandpa, and my brother. It's usually a pretty casual day. Dad & I might even take in a movie if we are really well behaved.

I finished my shopping and I'm ready to go. There were a few moments when I found myself browsing in the boys department looking at clothes. Just surrounding myself with things that are not to be this season. I'd like to say there's some magical formula. Something that I have found that helps me get through the holidays. Or maybe I should be asking if anybody knows the formula. I certainly haven't found it.

I went out with Mr. Right-Now last night. Even that didn't help much. I suppose it was a distracting to get lost in the routine, the familiarity of it all. He's comfortable and I should try to enjoy him more than I do. It's just so hard this time of year. Everybody is so much better at pretending to be happy than I am.

Princess & I have lots of quality time in our future. I don't go back to work until Thursday so we have lots of days to fill with fun and laughter. Not a bad way to end the year.

May God bless each one of you this holiday season. And may you each find the true meaning of this Christmas season. "For God so loved the world that he gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him might not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16)

Luke 2:8-14
There were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Winter is Here

The calendar says winter is officially here. The weatherman says we have already gotten as much snow as we usually end January with. My yard tells me I already have all the snow I care to have this season. I know the tourism industry is thrilled with this snowfall. We didn't have much last year and there was not a lot of skiing to be had.

My classes are finally set for next semester. I'm excited. I'm in class M/W/F from 9-2 and get this - all four of my classes are in the SAME building! What are the odds? I'm not taking any of my education classes. Since those are at a different campus entirely I decided it would be smarter to take those this summer and knock them all out at the same time. They do offer a free bus that runs from one campus to the other. But since I am trying to squeeze in my classes while Princess is in school that extra trip would make it hard to be on time for anything. Parking is not going to be fun for any of my classes, and I'm not looking forward to braving the freezing temperatures. I still can't believe all my classes are in the same building! Here's what's on deck for this semester. Calculus (part 2 of 3), Psychology & Culture (one of my last requirements for my Pysch Minor), History of Medicine & Health (yawn), and Statistics (double yuck).

The books cost a fortune. And I might add the bookstore at my junior college is WAY nicer than the on at my new University. Oh wait, the selection of sweatshirts is nicer at the University, does that count for anything?? They had hardly any choices of pens or pencils or notebooks, it was sad. 'Cause you KNOW I can't stay away from the office supplies. So, I guess it means I have to force myself to take a trip to Office Max. It'll be torture, but I'll manage somehow.

Monday, December 19, 2005


I kid myself. I convince myself that if I just don't acknowledge it, don't even glance at it, that somehow it will not exist. The pressure comes, the waves of stress start crashing and I dive under the covers, close my eyes and make it go away. Writing. Writing about the mundane of my life. Even this little task forces me to come out from under the covers. I like the alone better. I like to put on my "look at me i'm normal" face and go to work and come home. Life with Princess is an every day thing and I am thankful that I have that reality every day to keep me grounded. It's just so hard. I am tired of it all being so hard, taking so much effort. The holidays seem to bring more of everything. More demands on my time, more forcing myself to put on a happy face. I have taken to not answering the phone, heck I don't even listen to the voice mails. I'm tired of people. Alone is easier. I don't know how the rest of the world does it. Goes to work, meets friends, takes care of a house and kids. I can barely put on matching shoes some days. And yet I trudge on because there is no other choice. The hope that tomorrow will be a little bit easier. Couldn't it just be a little easier? I need the pieces to start fitting so I don't feel so completely seperate from the rest of the world. So little of my life is under control. I'm tired of "hanging in there" darn it all I just want a piece of my old life back. I'm not completely sure what part - maybe the part where I felt slightly human.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Who Ordered the Snow?

It's been coming down all day. I cancelled our Odyssey of the Mind practice so our parents wouldn't have to drive around in this crap any more than necessary. The roads aren't that bad, but this wind just keeps coming out of nowhere and sending big poofs of snow up into the road. For those of you from the south just imagine smoke from a grass fire popping up out of nowhere and destroying any hope of visibility you ever had. Driving in snow is someting of an art (one which, unfortunately, many northern drivers have yet to master). By 5 there were cars littering the ditches on the sides of the roads. I'm crossing my fingers that this won't be me in January as I start commuting a fairly treacherous 10 mile stretch of road.

School is looking almost great! I arranged my schedule so I have Tues & Weds off. Now I just have to move one class from a 2:00 to a 12:00 and it will be a perfect schedule! So I'll keep looking for something to open up at noon. Dare I hope it will even be a class that will allow me to cross off a boring requirement?!! It's almost too good to be true. I figure now I can spend this semester getting used to things. Then maybe try to get a job on campus for next fall.

Since I'm still a Math/Secondary Ed major I had to declare a teachable minor. Luckily I transferred 3 Psych classes in so I only need 3 more to get my minor in psych. Go me!

But enough about school - back to the snow. Princess was all bent out of shape today because I told her we could only go sledding after school if it was over 20. Since it wasn't I made an appointment for her to go get allergy shots. Needless to say she was none to happy with my choice of her after school activities!

Ah well, she can take it out on her daughter some day when SHE becomes
a mother!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Back to School

Transfer orientation. That's what it was called - transfer orientation. Aptly named since it was meant for students who are transferring from other institutions. So, explain to me why they spent an HOUR of my time explaining to me what a course catalogue and campus map are? I'm thinking we've all been in college before. We're familiar with how to navigate our way through course descriptions and prerequisites. Did we really need to spend an HOUR on these things?!!

Just about the time I was getting ready to doze off, they said it was time to break into small groups to go meet with our individual departments. Out of about 35 students only 6 of us were Math/Science majors - the rest were Humanities. Our small group set out in the freezing cold with our 2 advisors (who were all of about 20 years old). Thankfully it was a short walk to our department and we were greeted by the senior advisor.....who I'm still guessing is younger than me! What a strange feeling that is. We were plopped down in front of computers, given a list of required courses, plus a list they had put together for us of classes that they suggest we sign up for. After what felt like a million attempts I finally put together a list of classes that I am almost happy with. The GOOD news is they are all in the same building. What are the odds? Classes from three different disciplines and they are all in the same building! The bad news is they are smack in the middle of the day.

This means as it stands right now I won't be able to keep the job that I have. Which I love!

Still no word from financial aid. I'm chomping at the bit waiting for this one. I need to find out how broke I am going to be for the (well, for the) foreseeable future. At least parking here is surprisingly cheaper than my community college. Still a good chunk of change ($65 per semester) but not bad in the grand scheme of tuition, books and other fees.

This morning dad & I went to see Aeon Flux. It was barely an hour and a half long. Not bad over all, but hardly worth paying $6.50 for a ticket (and lets not even get into the price of popcorn and pop!). I still haven't made it to see Rent - GRRRRR - Maybe I'll find a hole in my schedule this week so I can go see it. That dude from Law & Order is so HOT! And yes, I know he was on Broadway in Rent before he was that Law & Order dude, so forgive me for typecasting him as some TV detective.

I still have to get over to my parents house and work on the Quicken File. I just don't want to go back out in the cold! It's only 23 today, and all the snow just makes it feel so much colder. Ah well, I guess I'll just bite the bullet and get it over with.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

A Concert on a School Night

I went to the BEST Christmas concert tonight! My mom bought me an early Christmas present and gave me a pair of tickets to see Mercy Me & Steven Curtis Chapman. I took one of my dearest friends with me (we met in FIFTH grade!). I must admit I am feeling a little old. When the music started we looked at each other and said "gee that's awfully loud". And it continued to be loud for 3 hours. But, that's OK. The crowd wasn't bad for a Wednesday night. I won't even mention that most of the crowd was my age and older - so basically I was at an old people's concert. SIGH.

It was a blessing to listen to these guys though. They had such stories to go along with their songs and rocked the house with their original songs, plus Christmas standards. We even got to hear one of the songs from the upcoming Narnia movie and see the music video to go along with it.

I cannot wait for Narnia to hit theaters next week. I am so looking forward to taking Princess to see this one. We loved the book.

I could go on, but it's late and I can still hear the ringing in my ears :-)

OH! I took my CLEP today and passed it; then I turned in my graduation audit so hopefully in a few weeks I"ll have my diploma to hang on the wall. I have orientation at the new university in the morning so I'll give you the skinny on that in the next post.