Easily Frustrated

I haven't been in a great mood today. School was so boring it was painful. I almost feel asleep in my morning class and after lunch I had a test, (which he gave to us first and then had lecture the 2nd half, why couldn't he have gone the other way around so I could have left early??)

I am also incredibly tired of being a single parent. I don't know how I could have ever married a man who could so easily cast aside his responsibilities and just move on. I don't know how he can think that writing a piddly (and I do mean SMALL) check every month covers his responsibilities in the parenting department. I know this rant is pointless because the logic becomes circular. No, if this is the man he truly is, I don't want things to change. I do not want anything from somebody who is so self absorbed. I wouldn't trade a minute of the last 6 years, despite all the hard work.

It is just not fair that I have to be the grown up. Less than 2 years after our divorce he was remarried ( which was his 3rd "serious relationship" in that amount of time) to somebody he had been dating for less than 6 months. Since then they have moved into their 2nd house (always bigger and better) and bought a new camper, new truck, new motorcycles and now I hear they have a new boat. I am so furious I could just spit. OK, not furious. It just sucks that he gets to be a lousy human being and he gets to rake in the financial rewards.

I know, I could be working full time and leaving the raising of my child to day care. But when the kids were born we decided (well, ok, I guess I thought WE decided - maybe it was just ME decided) that there was nothing more important to me than "being there" and I have chosen to make the sacrifices that I have to ensure that for the most part I am here before school and after school and at all those fun school functions that every grade-schooler needs their parents at.

So there you have it. Today my life just totally feels like it sucks.

And Princess is going camping for the holiday weekend with her idiot father. Because, you know, he has a new boat and he told her she could drive it. Maybe he just knows he has to bribe her to get her to spend time with him.