I didn't do the homework I should have done today (as usual, there is always tomorrow *sigh*)
What DID I do today?
I went to see a movie with my dad.
Facing the Giants
All I can say is WOW.
I've seen the reviews, heard it was a low budget movie, where the preaching didn't come through as "preachy" or rehearsed as most low budget "God movies".
I wasn't prepared for how relevant the movie was...at least for me.
I've said it before, but it seems that saying it out loud enough times isn't helping me get the point. I have become lazy in my faith. So lazy. I am failing my daughter in this respect and my parents are getting down right rude about it (which of course just makes me stay away from church all the more, 'cause you know, I'm acting like a child!)
Anyway, the movie...
Basically it was the story of a coach at a Christian High School in Georgia and his struggle with an average football team. Since they have nothing to lose, they decide to turn their team over to God and praise Him in losing - and if it is His will - winning. With his young wife, there are financial struggles, a car that never starts, a stove that stops working...and unforseen medical expenses when they start to investigate infertility problems.
OK, that's not the best synopsis ever, but you get the point.
I won't ruin the story for you, but let me say what caught my breath was the way that God answered some of the prayers of the characters in this story. Having watched my child die, I guess I am used to being on the "losing" end of the prayer thing. Which isn't to say that I haven't seen Him perform miracles in the lives of other children with cancer. And these miracles did not always go to God-fearing families who were spending hours on their knees. It is enough for me to know that His way is higher than mine, and that I need not know why He does what He does. But, it's also easy to forget that there are miracles out there. There are so many challenges in my life that I forget to give over ownership of all the crap. It's easier to hold onto it, easier to do it all myself. But His glory will not thrive in my life is I continue to close off rooms in my heart.
The story that they told in the film went something like this "Two farmers were watching their crops die because it had not rained. Both prayed for rain. But only one farmer was preparing his fields for the rain, while the other continued to pray. Which one do you think really believed that God could send the rain?"
And which kind of farmer do I want to be? Am I preparing my life to bloom where it is planted? Not most days. Most days I am trying desperately to dig my life up and plant it someplace else. Someplace better. Someplace with fewer challenges. Someplace easier.
Did Job replant himself when God allowed his trials to descend upon him? I think not! (and lets face it, I'm definately no Job)
And then the movie ended with one of my favorite Casting Crowns songs
"Voice of Truth"
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
..........
So I guess I'm going to resolve to let Him take my hand, because I cannot (CANNOT) do this myself.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Writing
I haven't been writing lately.
Oh, I've been blogging...but for the most part I don't feel like I've been writing. Not the creative, lay your feelings on the line kind of writing. Nothing has pushed it's way to the front of my brain for a long time. At least nothing screaming "Write me! Write me!"
It's silly, really it is. I feel sort of lost without this passion. I love to write and the fact that I haven't felt like it lately has contributed a large part to the funk that I've been feeling. It's not the sort of thing you can force yourself to do. Well, I can't anyway. I want it to come back. Or maybe I just want it to come back so I can feel like I'm on the upswing of whatever this cloud is.
Starting next week I'm back to working 3 days a week for a few hours. Maybe something to fill my days will help my brain get back on track. Maybe... I don't know.
Life without passion is very dull indeed. I suppose I should be thankful for these mundane, boring times in my life. But in the end I want to find my way back to a me that I used to be. Then again, is that a good thing to wish for? Should I be trying to work forward and create some new version of me instead of trying to put pieces back together to create an old me - a me that I was comfortbable with and understood.
It's all so frustrating! Being the patient person that I am (NOT!) I'm just going to have to ride this out and see where I end up.
Oh, I've been blogging...but for the most part I don't feel like I've been writing. Not the creative, lay your feelings on the line kind of writing. Nothing has pushed it's way to the front of my brain for a long time. At least nothing screaming "Write me! Write me!"
It's silly, really it is. I feel sort of lost without this passion. I love to write and the fact that I haven't felt like it lately has contributed a large part to the funk that I've been feeling. It's not the sort of thing you can force yourself to do. Well, I can't anyway. I want it to come back. Or maybe I just want it to come back so I can feel like I'm on the upswing of whatever this cloud is.
Starting next week I'm back to working 3 days a week for a few hours. Maybe something to fill my days will help my brain get back on track. Maybe... I don't know.
Life without passion is very dull indeed. I suppose I should be thankful for these mundane, boring times in my life. But in the end I want to find my way back to a me that I used to be. Then again, is that a good thing to wish for? Should I be trying to work forward and create some new version of me instead of trying to put pieces back together to create an old me - a me that I was comfortbable with and understood.
It's all so frustrating! Being the patient person that I am (NOT!) I'm just going to have to ride this out and see where I end up.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Mish Mash
Gosh, it's been a day!
For starters, I need to complain about the weather! Oh My Goodness! It's cold! We're setting record low "high" temps here in West Michigan and man, are my toes feeling it!
Next up a brief rant on the people I carpool with. Come to find out this week M-W one of the girls that I bring home after school was out of town with her parents. Do you think they bothered to tell me that I wouldn't need to pick her up? Or that I should pick her up Thursday? But, I handled it, because hey, she has 3 young kids and sometimes your brain just doesn't connect all the dots, you think you told somebody something and you didn't. It's an honest mistake. So, I go to get her Friday and her teacher says that dad was a chaperone on the field trip today and she went home with him. WHAT?!! Oh, but wait, it gets better. Turns out my mom hears through the grapevine that this sweet child is staying with her grandparents next week because mom & dad are out of town. Do you think anybody mentioned this to me?!!
It's just those little things that add up during the week and make you want to explode. Princess was home again this weekend, which meant another football game for mommy (did I mention how cold it is here?). So, being the smart mommy that I am - I headed over to Meijer and hit the hunting aisle and picked up toe and hand warmers. And not just for me & Princess, but for all 10 girls...because, hey, that's just the kind of nice mom that I am. While I was there I even found black fleece headbands on sale for 3 bucks so I bought them too. Figured if all the girls had them, the coach would have to let them wear something! While I'm leaving the store I get a call from the coach. She's in major stress mode, trying to get ready for a party Saturday afternoon and she checked the by-laws which say if the coach can't make it a parent can step in so could I please run the game....
Have I mentioned yet that the game was 1/2 north of here and it started at 8:30 which means the cheerleaders needed to show up by 8? Oh, yeah, I was stinkin' thrilled. But, since I was going to be there anyway, I told her I'd be happy to. Don't worry about it, I said, we'll be fine! What was I thinking? It was like every parent there had it in for us. Nobody was on time. Sure, it was out of town so there were some who got a little lost, but some of us managed to give ourselves extra time knowing we were venturing into uncharted territory. I feel a little bad now because I grumbled a little more than I probably should have to a couple of other moms. But, in my defense it was 8 in the morning and it was 35 degrees out! One of the dad's popped off with a comment about how he was going to call the rocket football league because he was tired of our coach. I hope he doesn't, I mean we only have one game left after all, why ruin it for the poor volunteer coaches who (I hope) are just doing the best they can. Even if they are annoying us!
Aside from the cold the game was fun, the girls did great. After the game we had carnival at Princess' school. We hung out there for a couple hours and then came back home for a peaceful afternoon. It was nice to just be able to spend time with her - without anyplace we needed to be and anything we really needed to be doing.
Now, as not to spend all of my posts complaining...
I was thinking this week about something I had never thought about before. I went on a burger run earlier this week and picked up burgers and fries for lunch or dinner or something for me and mom & dad. And I thought, how great is it that with all the tastes of all the foods, our God created the midwest full of cows and tomatoes and potatoes. Because what goes better with a burger than catsup? How is it that lime trees grow down south? When we all know that nothing goes better with seafood then a great big slice of key lime pie for dessert? How amazing is it that our God loves us so much that he has provided these little pleasures for us. Things we take so for granted that we don't usually even think about them. He could have created a world where there was no pleasure in eating. Where there were no onions or mushrooms to put on our burgers. But He didn't. In the myriad of arguments against this world being created as an accident I would have to ask this one "What are the odds that so many plants on this planet are fit to be consumed by it's inhabitants?" If it were all truly an accident my bet would be that we would not have nearly as many wonderful things to eat!
Just a thought :-)
For starters, I need to complain about the weather! Oh My Goodness! It's cold! We're setting record low "high" temps here in West Michigan and man, are my toes feeling it!
Next up a brief rant on the people I carpool with. Come to find out this week M-W one of the girls that I bring home after school was out of town with her parents. Do you think they bothered to tell me that I wouldn't need to pick her up? Or that I should pick her up Thursday? But, I handled it, because hey, she has 3 young kids and sometimes your brain just doesn't connect all the dots, you think you told somebody something and you didn't. It's an honest mistake. So, I go to get her Friday and her teacher says that dad was a chaperone on the field trip today and she went home with him. WHAT?!! Oh, but wait, it gets better. Turns out my mom hears through the grapevine that this sweet child is staying with her grandparents next week because mom & dad are out of town. Do you think anybody mentioned this to me?!!
It's just those little things that add up during the week and make you want to explode. Princess was home again this weekend, which meant another football game for mommy (did I mention how cold it is here?). So, being the smart mommy that I am - I headed over to Meijer and hit the hunting aisle and picked up toe and hand warmers. And not just for me & Princess, but for all 10 girls...because, hey, that's just the kind of nice mom that I am. While I was there I even found black fleece headbands on sale for 3 bucks so I bought them too. Figured if all the girls had them, the coach would have to let them wear something! While I'm leaving the store I get a call from the coach. She's in major stress mode, trying to get ready for a party Saturday afternoon and she checked the by-laws which say if the coach can't make it a parent can step in so could I please run the game....
Have I mentioned yet that the game was 1/2 north of here and it started at 8:30 which means the cheerleaders needed to show up by 8? Oh, yeah, I was stinkin' thrilled. But, since I was going to be there anyway, I told her I'd be happy to. Don't worry about it, I said, we'll be fine! What was I thinking? It was like every parent there had it in for us. Nobody was on time. Sure, it was out of town so there were some who got a little lost, but some of us managed to give ourselves extra time knowing we were venturing into uncharted territory. I feel a little bad now because I grumbled a little more than I probably should have to a couple of other moms. But, in my defense it was 8 in the morning and it was 35 degrees out! One of the dad's popped off with a comment about how he was going to call the rocket football league because he was tired of our coach. I hope he doesn't, I mean we only have one game left after all, why ruin it for the poor volunteer coaches who (I hope) are just doing the best they can. Even if they are annoying us!
Aside from the cold the game was fun, the girls did great. After the game we had carnival at Princess' school. We hung out there for a couple hours and then came back home for a peaceful afternoon. It was nice to just be able to spend time with her - without anyplace we needed to be and anything we really needed to be doing.
Now, as not to spend all of my posts complaining...
I was thinking this week about something I had never thought about before. I went on a burger run earlier this week and picked up burgers and fries for lunch or dinner or something for me and mom & dad. And I thought, how great is it that with all the tastes of all the foods, our God created the midwest full of cows and tomatoes and potatoes. Because what goes better with a burger than catsup? How is it that lime trees grow down south? When we all know that nothing goes better with seafood then a great big slice of key lime pie for dessert? How amazing is it that our God loves us so much that he has provided these little pleasures for us. Things we take so for granted that we don't usually even think about them. He could have created a world where there was no pleasure in eating. Where there were no onions or mushrooms to put on our burgers. But He didn't. In the myriad of arguments against this world being created as an accident I would have to ask this one "What are the odds that so many plants on this planet are fit to be consumed by it's inhabitants?" If it were all truly an accident my bet would be that we would not have nearly as many wonderful things to eat!
Just a thought :-)
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Because...
...if I'm annoyed, then you should be too!
Here's just a taste of how a good part of my day went (picture yourself in the mini-van driving to and from school with 5 children in the van with you)
Going to school...
This is the song that never ends.
Yes it goes on, and on my friend,
Some people, started singing it not knowing what it was,
And they'll continue singing it forever just because,
This is the song that never ends.
Yes it goes on, and on my friend,
...you get the point.
So I get smart and on the way home I say "absolutely no one is singing the song we sang on the way to school this morning"
So I give you the ride home...
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,
Everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,
And this is how it goes...
(Next verse, same as the first, it never gets better, it only gets worse.)
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,
Ah, I'm gonna have to shoot whoever taught them that second one 'cause when they left for school this morning, they only knew the one!
Here's just a taste of how a good part of my day went (picture yourself in the mini-van driving to and from school with 5 children in the van with you)
Going to school...
This is the song that never ends.
Yes it goes on, and on my friend,
Some people, started singing it not knowing what it was,
And they'll continue singing it forever just because,
This is the song that never ends.
Yes it goes on, and on my friend,
...you get the point.
So I get smart and on the way home I say "absolutely no one is singing the song we sang on the way to school this morning"
So I give you the ride home...
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,
Everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,
And this is how it goes...
(Next verse, same as the first, it never gets better, it only gets worse.)
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,
Ah, I'm gonna have to shoot whoever taught them that second one 'cause when they left for school this morning, they only knew the one!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Gone Fishin'
How I would love to just put a sign on my door "gone fishin'".
I've decided it's hopeless to try to finish 3 of my classes. The 3 that I am taking with the same professor. I know my limits and I need certain things to succeed and he is not givine me ANYTHING to work with! I'll just bite the bullet and withdraw from the classes - take them again next semester. I still have one class I can finish and hopefully the doctor's office will be able to find some hours for me - because you know those darn financial aid people are going to want their money back! I think I'm OK with the whole thing, but I hate being in this situation. This means classes again next summer. GRRRRR
It helps if I blame it on idiot (although it's sort of a stretch to go there). He's off camping again this weekend...and next...So that means less time for homework and more carting the princess around. Only 3 more games left though, I have to take her to at least 2 of those, which means mister "we'd love to take her to the games" will have taken her to a whopping two games total. Oh, well, 3 if we count the varsity game she got invited to from her cheer clinich this summer.
She's been complaining about her knee for a while now and the coach at the gym tonight said we should probably get it looked at - said he thinks it looks a little bit "crooked". UM? CROOKED? Not sure exactly what that means, but I figure it's probably not a good thing! I'm also fairly sure that a referral is going to mean a CT - and I'm just not sure...well I AM sure that I'm going to be totally panicked the whole time we are in radiology. I'm tired of my brain screaming cancer everytime my daughter doesn't feel good.
She also hasn't gotten up enough nerve to decide completely that she isn't going camping with idiot this weekend. She doesn't want to go - she wants to stay home and go to her game. She LOVES cheerleading (shhhhh! don't tell!). But you know, he's going to make her feel guilty and like she's letting him down. Of course, mention that he could stay home too and take her to the game? Heaven forbid!
We had fun with her home this weekend though. She ordered a "how to crochet" book with her last scholastic book order so this weekend she crocheted over a pony and it came out so cute! After cheerleading we went to see a movie with Sweetie and her mom and little brother. Over the Hedge was the Dove film this week. For the bargain price of $2 for adults and all kids free we packed into a movie theater with 500 other people and laughed our butts off. Now, Sweetie's little brother is only 6 (and acts younger than that) so I'm not sure it's the kind of movie I would have taken him to - but then again I wouldn't have taken him to see Harry Potter 4 or Pirate of the Carribbean 2 either, so I guess this one was tame by comparison.
I don't think I'm happy right now. I hate being on the verge of whatever this is.
I don't want to be this girl. The one slowly losing grip on reality. I want to be the together one. The one who knows what she wants, and somehow pulls it all together.
I wonder where she went?
I've decided it's hopeless to try to finish 3 of my classes. The 3 that I am taking with the same professor. I know my limits and I need certain things to succeed and he is not givine me ANYTHING to work with! I'll just bite the bullet and withdraw from the classes - take them again next semester. I still have one class I can finish and hopefully the doctor's office will be able to find some hours for me - because you know those darn financial aid people are going to want their money back! I think I'm OK with the whole thing, but I hate being in this situation. This means classes again next summer. GRRRRR
It helps if I blame it on idiot (although it's sort of a stretch to go there). He's off camping again this weekend...and next...So that means less time for homework and more carting the princess around. Only 3 more games left though, I have to take her to at least 2 of those, which means mister "we'd love to take her to the games" will have taken her to a whopping two games total. Oh, well, 3 if we count the varsity game she got invited to from her cheer clinich this summer.
She's been complaining about her knee for a while now and the coach at the gym tonight said we should probably get it looked at - said he thinks it looks a little bit "crooked". UM? CROOKED? Not sure exactly what that means, but I figure it's probably not a good thing! I'm also fairly sure that a referral is going to mean a CT - and I'm just not sure...well I AM sure that I'm going to be totally panicked the whole time we are in radiology. I'm tired of my brain screaming cancer everytime my daughter doesn't feel good.
She also hasn't gotten up enough nerve to decide completely that she isn't going camping with idiot this weekend. She doesn't want to go - she wants to stay home and go to her game. She LOVES cheerleading (shhhhh! don't tell!). But you know, he's going to make her feel guilty and like she's letting him down. Of course, mention that he could stay home too and take her to the game? Heaven forbid!
We had fun with her home this weekend though. She ordered a "how to crochet" book with her last scholastic book order so this weekend she crocheted over a pony and it came out so cute! After cheerleading we went to see a movie with Sweetie and her mom and little brother. Over the Hedge was the Dove film this week. For the bargain price of $2 for adults and all kids free we packed into a movie theater with 500 other people and laughed our butts off. Now, Sweetie's little brother is only 6 (and acts younger than that) so I'm not sure it's the kind of movie I would have taken him to - but then again I wouldn't have taken him to see Harry Potter 4 or Pirate of the Carribbean 2 either, so I guess this one was tame by comparison.
I don't think I'm happy right now. I hate being on the verge of whatever this is.
I don't want to be this girl. The one slowly losing grip on reality. I want to be the together one. The one who knows what she wants, and somehow pulls it all together.
I wonder where she went?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Happy Birthday Princess
It's hard to believe she's 9 already...
But of course for every celebration there is the quiet tugging on my heart...
...what would he have been like when he was 9?
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Procrastinating (as usual)
Honestly, I have so much I SHOULD be doing right now! But, my brain just can't take it anymore. I have two (count them, one, TWO) tests tomorrow and I don't feel like I'm prepared for either of them. What I am prepared for is having to take some of these classes again next semester because I just don't feel like I'm "getting it" the first time around. We'll see, maybe in the next few weeks some magic switch will magically go on and it will all become clear!
It's been a busy weekend here. Idiot actually took Princess Friday night, which left plenty of time for me to do homework. She took part in a cheer clinic this summer that the Varsity girls ran as a fund raiser this summer. As part of her "graduation" she got invited to go cheer for the 1st quarter of a Varsity game - which happened to be last Friday. So, idiot picked her up about his usual 5:00 and then had to have her at the field by 6:15. On top of that she had her game Saturday morning for her junior cheer. They had to be at the field at 7:45! (so glad it wasn't me!) Plus it was an away game, 30 minute drive on top of having to be there so early.....really, REALLY glad it wasn't me! I am NOT a morning person! It was cold and rainy and her shoes are covered in mud, but she says they had a good time.
Go figure, she likes cheerleading so much she can't even complain about being out in the 50 degree rainy weather!
On top of all my homework we are gearing up for Princess' birthday. It's on Tuesday and it just seems like there is so much to do! She decided she wanted to make chocolate pretzels for her school treat (you buy the chocolate buttons by the bakers stuff and melt them and then dip the pretzels and then lay them out on wax paper to dry......which if you don't want to waste a lot of chocolate takes a while because you hand dip each pretzel. I'm thinking about going back to the store to get more chocolate and lining all the pretzels up and just pouring it over!!) She's going to be 9. I can hardly believe my baby is going to be NINE! We're taking a couple friends ice skating this afternoon. Then back to grandma's for birthday cake and to play for a few minutes. Of course we still need to be at her tumbling class by 6.
Maybe I can convince her not to go to tumbling tonight? I've got class til 7 tomorrow night so I really don't know when we are going to make pretzels!
We'll figure it out. I really don't need to sleep anyway, right?
And for those of you who have given up checking - the National Geographic cam was up about 11:00(eastern) when I checked it. So, hang in there and just keep checking :-)
It's been a busy weekend here. Idiot actually took Princess Friday night, which left plenty of time for me to do homework. She took part in a cheer clinic this summer that the Varsity girls ran as a fund raiser this summer. As part of her "graduation" she got invited to go cheer for the 1st quarter of a Varsity game - which happened to be last Friday. So, idiot picked her up about his usual 5:00 and then had to have her at the field by 6:15. On top of that she had her game Saturday morning for her junior cheer. They had to be at the field at 7:45! (so glad it wasn't me!) Plus it was an away game, 30 minute drive on top of having to be there so early.....really, REALLY glad it wasn't me! I am NOT a morning person! It was cold and rainy and her shoes are covered in mud, but she says they had a good time.
Go figure, she likes cheerleading so much she can't even complain about being out in the 50 degree rainy weather!
On top of all my homework we are gearing up for Princess' birthday. It's on Tuesday and it just seems like there is so much to do! She decided she wanted to make chocolate pretzels for her school treat (you buy the chocolate buttons by the bakers stuff and melt them and then dip the pretzels and then lay them out on wax paper to dry......which if you don't want to waste a lot of chocolate takes a while because you hand dip each pretzel. I'm thinking about going back to the store to get more chocolate and lining all the pretzels up and just pouring it over!!) She's going to be 9. I can hardly believe my baby is going to be NINE! We're taking a couple friends ice skating this afternoon. Then back to grandma's for birthday cake and to play for a few minutes. Of course we still need to be at her tumbling class by 6.
Maybe I can convince her not to go to tumbling tonight? I've got class til 7 tomorrow night so I really don't know when we are going to make pretzels!
We'll figure it out. I really don't need to sleep anyway, right?
And for those of you who have given up checking - the National Geographic cam was up about 11:00(eastern) when I checked it. So, hang in there and just keep checking :-)
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
What in the world?
You know how some days you just really, really wonder what is wrong with people? What have we become as Americans (well, inhabitants of the planet earth in general) over the last few generations that causes so many people to act in ways that make you wanna say WTF!
GO HERE
No, really, you could GO HERE TOO
Now, had enough?
Well, in that case, you should definately GO HERE to unwind (best viewing time is 12-4 am Eastern or 4-8 pm Eastern, and be patient because it's offline a lot, but your first glance at a live giraffe in the middle of Africa drinking from a pond and I know you'll be hooked just like me :-) )
GO HERE
No, really, you could GO HERE TOO
Now, had enough?
Well, in that case, you should definately GO HERE to unwind (best viewing time is 12-4 am Eastern or 4-8 pm Eastern, and be patient because it's offline a lot, but your first glance at a live giraffe in the middle of Africa drinking from a pond and I know you'll be hooked just like me :-) )
Saturday, September 23, 2006
My Brain Hurts
All summer, when I felt like I was getting my ass kicked in Calculus 2.....well it turns out I might as well have been on vacation. 'Cause what's really killin' me are my classes this semester! I have never had so much homework. Most of which I avoid doing because I just don't "get" most of it. I'm going to have to break down and start working with a tutor and let me just tell you how much that kills me!
Like I have time in my life for a tutor. Like I am actually going to get off my butt and try and find one next week (you know, in all my spare time).
Next week I start observing a geometry class.
Have I mentioned that I can't wait for this semester to be over?
I am so tired. At the end of the day I am just plain mentally exhausted.
Idiot is off camping this weekend. I'm just so glad he agreed to take on this whole cheerleading project. Let's see, he's taken her to precisely....oh right, ZERO games! I know, I know, I'm not really complaining because I like to be involved. But geesh, if you tell your kid you're going to do something you don't turn around and make plans to go camping (and then make her feel guilty because she doens't want to go camping with you). GRRRRR
So, Princess gets to have Sweetie over for a sleepover tomorrow. We'll pick her up after the football game and pig out on junk food and watch movies and listen to the Cheetah Girls CD, all the while dancing around the living room like idiots.
Did we all see Gray's Anatomy on Thursday?!!(it was really, really good Christy :-P) How great is this season going to be?!! Not much else is drawing my attention this season. I did watch Studio 60 on Sunset Strip. I think that's a maybe, but it makes me wish West Wing was back. I watched Law & Order tonight, and I wasn't too impressed. Feels like it's going to be Numbers here on Friday night, except maybe when the reruns come on. I didn't watch ER, didn't even interest me. And I DON'T do any of the reality TV (which drives my mother crazy every time she misses a show and asks me what happened).
My allergies are killing me, i have to take so much medication to be able to breath that i can't stay awake (she says as she types at 1:30 am.....but that's because I slept so long this afternoon!)
Man, I can't even follow a complete thought through, can I? I better go crawl in bed and rest up for sitting in the rain at Princess' game tomorrow *sigh*
Like I have time in my life for a tutor. Like I am actually going to get off my butt and try and find one next week (you know, in all my spare time).
Next week I start observing a geometry class.
Have I mentioned that I can't wait for this semester to be over?
I am so tired. At the end of the day I am just plain mentally exhausted.
Idiot is off camping this weekend. I'm just so glad he agreed to take on this whole cheerleading project. Let's see, he's taken her to precisely....oh right, ZERO games! I know, I know, I'm not really complaining because I like to be involved. But geesh, if you tell your kid you're going to do something you don't turn around and make plans to go camping (and then make her feel guilty because she doens't want to go camping with you). GRRRRR
So, Princess gets to have Sweetie over for a sleepover tomorrow. We'll pick her up after the football game and pig out on junk food and watch movies and listen to the Cheetah Girls CD, all the while dancing around the living room like idiots.
Did we all see Gray's Anatomy on Thursday?!!(it was really, really good Christy :-P) How great is this season going to be?!! Not much else is drawing my attention this season. I did watch Studio 60 on Sunset Strip. I think that's a maybe, but it makes me wish West Wing was back. I watched Law & Order tonight, and I wasn't too impressed. Feels like it's going to be Numbers here on Friday night, except maybe when the reruns come on. I didn't watch ER, didn't even interest me. And I DON'T do any of the reality TV (which drives my mother crazy every time she misses a show and asks me what happened).
My allergies are killing me, i have to take so much medication to be able to breath that i can't stay awake (she says as she types at 1:30 am.....but that's because I slept so long this afternoon!)
Man, I can't even follow a complete thought through, can I? I better go crawl in bed and rest up for sitting in the rain at Princess' game tomorrow *sigh*
Sunday, September 17, 2006
The good and the bad
It's always good to get the bad news out of the way first. So, the bad news is - my internet was down all weekend! A girl could suffer serious withdrawl symptoms!
But, the good news! I had a ton of homework this weekend, and without internet I got a ton done. Plus, it was a gorgeous weekend! Princess had another 4:00 football game so we didn't have to drag ourselves out of bed early AND we got to enjoy the perfect football afternoon.
You should have seen the game, it was priceless. We got to the field and the boys were already on the practice field warming up so the girls grabbed a corner and started stretching. Once the game before us got done the boys headed over to the playing field and the girls followed in close order. When the boys realized that the cheerleaders were coming to their field there were many shouts of "hey, we have CHEERLEADERS today!" (I have never laughed so hard in my life - you should have heard them!) But, it was cute. The boys were thrilled, the girls were thrilled and we even won the game 22-6. Ya can't beat that!
But, the good news! I had a ton of homework this weekend, and without internet I got a ton done. Plus, it was a gorgeous weekend! Princess had another 4:00 football game so we didn't have to drag ourselves out of bed early AND we got to enjoy the perfect football afternoon.
You should have seen the game, it was priceless. We got to the field and the boys were already on the practice field warming up so the girls grabbed a corner and started stretching. Once the game before us got done the boys headed over to the playing field and the girls followed in close order. When the boys realized that the cheerleaders were coming to their field there were many shouts of "hey, we have CHEERLEADERS today!" (I have never laughed so hard in my life - you should have heard them!) But, it was cute. The boys were thrilled, the girls were thrilled and we even won the game 22-6. Ya can't beat that!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Fashion DON'T (and other rants)
So, it was cold and rainy again today. Not complaining TOO loud because we do need the rain. But does it have to rain the hardest at the exact moments I need to walk from my vehicle all the way across campus to get to my class? Why don't college campuses have parking lots adjacent to their largest classroom buildings? Why are the best and biggest parking lots on the side of the campus that has the football field? Where, may I add, there are NO classrooms?
Ranting about the rain. Do they NOT teach young drivers how to drive anymore? Leave extra space between you and the car in front of you when it's raining this hard because you WON'T be able to stop. There is a TON of water on the road and you are going to get yourself hurt! (mostly because I am going to slap you silly if you cut me off one more time....) AND have automatic lights made us freakin stupid? When it's dark and raining and gray (especially if you have a silver car people!) turn your damn lights on. AND when the power goes out, that light at the busy intersection that's out - yeah, it doesn't mean you can drive right through it because the car in front of you went through it, it's a four way stop! Or have the rules of driving changed since I went through drivers ed?
....and that was just my drive TO school :-)
Now, fashion police. If you are older than me and have obviously had a couple kids (or a couple too many cases of beer) you should NOT cut the bottoms off your t-shirts so that you can wear them 1/2 an inch above your jeans and let your roll of fat jiggle for all to see. Next, if you are a poor college student and the only pair of shoes that you have are flip flops (you know the cheap kind with the annoying hard piece of plastic that goes between your toes)I don't care HOW cold it is, please, please, PLEASE, do NOT wear socks with your flip flops!
I am now going back to figuring out how a vector of origin relates to the centroid of a flippin triangle (can you tell I am more than a little stressed right now?!)
Ranting about the rain. Do they NOT teach young drivers how to drive anymore? Leave extra space between you and the car in front of you when it's raining this hard because you WON'T be able to stop. There is a TON of water on the road and you are going to get yourself hurt! (mostly because I am going to slap you silly if you cut me off one more time....) AND have automatic lights made us freakin stupid? When it's dark and raining and gray (especially if you have a silver car people!) turn your damn lights on. AND when the power goes out, that light at the busy intersection that's out - yeah, it doesn't mean you can drive right through it because the car in front of you went through it, it's a four way stop! Or have the rules of driving changed since I went through drivers ed?
....and that was just my drive TO school :-)
Now, fashion police. If you are older than me and have obviously had a couple kids (or a couple too many cases of beer) you should NOT cut the bottoms off your t-shirts so that you can wear them 1/2 an inch above your jeans and let your roll of fat jiggle for all to see. Next, if you are a poor college student and the only pair of shoes that you have are flip flops (you know the cheap kind with the annoying hard piece of plastic that goes between your toes)I don't care HOW cold it is, please, please, PLEASE, do NOT wear socks with your flip flops!
I am now going back to figuring out how a vector of origin relates to the centroid of a flippin triangle (can you tell I am more than a little stressed right now?!)
Monday, September 11, 2006
9/11/01
Did you know that MSNBC ran the Today show coverage live this morning.....the rerun from 2001? I wish I would have known. I didn't get to see it the first time and I would have liked to have seen the whole thing. As it was I didn't turn the TV on until 11 and by then the events had all transpired. (Although I did get to see Katie Couric ask a Congressman if Congress was indeed meeting today and if so, where...oh yeah, the Capitol building was a possible target, so let's just announce on NBC where all of Congress is at the moment, brilliant journalism!) But, I digress.
I have looked all over to see if there was a master list somewhere of all the bloggers posting with the 2,996. Many of the people on my AOL alerts, and my Bloglines have posted wonderful tributes....I wish I would have made a note of all of them so I could share them with you. They were, after all, everyday people just like the rest of us.....people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
UPDATE: No wonder I couldn't find the master list for the 2996 project, I suspect the site is especially overloaded today....but you can access the list through a cache. Here's the google memory
Today is my dad's birthday. 59 this year! Hard to imagine having a birthday on such a "historic" day. I suspect we will have dinner and cake and enjoy our evening as if it was any other day.
I stayed home from school today. I was seriously in need of a mental health day. Taking classes all summer was just too much, and my break between summer and fall classes was NOT long enough! So as soon as the kids arrived this morning we were off to school and then I came home, layed on the couch and enjoyed the quiet. It was delicious!
Now, there are many wonderful tributes out there, but as I mentioned, I didn't bookmark any of them. So let me leave you with a choice of these two sites (they are both very similar so you can pick one or the other) Jimmy put one together 5 years ago, and another one more recently. Enjoy!
His Blog
On AOL
I have looked all over to see if there was a master list somewhere of all the bloggers posting with the 2,996. Many of the people on my AOL alerts, and my Bloglines have posted wonderful tributes....I wish I would have made a note of all of them so I could share them with you. They were, after all, everyday people just like the rest of us.....people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
UPDATE: No wonder I couldn't find the master list for the 2996 project, I suspect the site is especially overloaded today....but you can access the list through a cache. Here's the google memory
Today is my dad's birthday. 59 this year! Hard to imagine having a birthday on such a "historic" day. I suspect we will have dinner and cake and enjoy our evening as if it was any other day.
I stayed home from school today. I was seriously in need of a mental health day. Taking classes all summer was just too much, and my break between summer and fall classes was NOT long enough! So as soon as the kids arrived this morning we were off to school and then I came home, layed on the couch and enjoyed the quiet. It was delicious!
Now, there are many wonderful tributes out there, but as I mentioned, I didn't bookmark any of them. So let me leave you with a choice of these two sites (they are both very similar so you can pick one or the other) Jimmy put one together 5 years ago, and another one more recently. Enjoy!
His Blog
On AOL
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Finally!
Finally! I finally got the pictures to load! I know you've all been waiting patiently *giggle* So I present to you the first day of 3rd grade. This is Princess (left) and her best friend in the whole world. Sweetie & Princess are crushed this year because they don't have the same teacher. Somehow I think they'll survive! And I'm quite sure they will remain fast friends despite the separation during the day :-)Next I guess I have to share. Cheerleading pictures *sigh* Lucky for them they were adorable, but it was a rare occassion when they were all doing the same moves or saying the same words! But, they had fun, and really, that's all that counts, right??
It was only 60 here today and a chilly wind. Our team lost 8-0. The only bright spot in the day......it wasn't raining by the time the game started. She has to go to another game Tuesday night. It better be warmer!!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Warp Speed
On a lighter note, 40 years ago today Star Trek hit the air waves.
When Enterprise was cancelled last year it was the first time in 25 years that there was no Star Trek series or movie in production or development.
Isn't that unreal?
Call me crazy now, but I LOVE everything Star Trek. Beam me up, Scotty. I Love the crappy original episodes with unbelievable plots..damnit Jim, I'm a doctor not a bricklayer..., love Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and even Enterprise. I even admit to loving all the movies (yes, including the really BAD ones!). OOPS, forgot Voyager, I never really did catch up with that one, but the few episodes I did see, yup - loved 'em!
Let's hope for another 40 years of nerds dreaming and reaching for the stars, and most especially attending Star Trek Conventions. Because, hey, if we're all at the convention center at least you know where to avoid :-)
But, until that next convention let's lay in a course, warp factor 4
Engage
When Enterprise was cancelled last year it was the first time in 25 years that there was no Star Trek series or movie in production or development.
Isn't that unreal?
Call me crazy now, but I LOVE everything Star Trek. Beam me up, Scotty. I Love the crappy original episodes with unbelievable plots..damnit Jim, I'm a doctor not a bricklayer..., love Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and even Enterprise. I even admit to loving all the movies (yes, including the really BAD ones!). OOPS, forgot Voyager, I never really did catch up with that one, but the few episodes I did see, yup - loved 'em!
Let's hope for another 40 years of nerds dreaming and reaching for the stars, and most especially attending Star Trek Conventions. Because, hey, if we're all at the convention center at least you know where to avoid :-)
But, until that next convention let's lay in a course, warp factor 4
Engage
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Public Schools
There was a little blurb on the radio station that I listen to. It was talking about the growing trend of restricted recess. You know what I mean. First teeter-totters and merry-go-rounds had to go because they were too dangerous. Then we needed to make sure there was 6 inches of wood chips under the swings and other playing equipment because that was too dangerous. Next it was dodgeball, TOO DANGEROUS! Never mind punishing the few kids who are ruining it for everybody because they are mean and like to inflict pain. Anyway, so the blurb on the news said a local school district has now banned Tag as a recess game. Too dangerous, afraid somebody will get poked in the eye or pushed too hard, or they will be so busy trying not to get tagged they won't be looking where they are going and run into something. PLEASE stop the insanity! I've heard reports that include some school districts have banned recess altogether - and not to gain more teaching time but because it's too dangerous. This is a very good thing to teach our kids. Let's not work together to make a system that works, let's just bow to the lowest among us and avoid anything that may result in a lawsuit. Yeah, that works for me - NOT!
On a similar subject. Our local police forces are sponsoring a gun buy back program this weekend. Now, I'm all for getting guns off the street and I'm sure there are plenty of statistics that say the buy back programs work. BUT, and come along with me now. They are offering to give debit cards in exchange for these guns (because money is the only incentive that "works"). Well, what about the rest of us law abiding citizens who DON'T have illegal firearms in our homes? Dang, I could use $100 to spend at our local Meijer store. But hey, let's just keep rewarding the criminals. We're doing it on a lesser level in our school systems so why not in the entire community through the police force. Yeah, that works for me too.
(As usual, I should be working on homework.....can you tell I'm rushing right off to do that?)
One of the classes that I am taking is a class called "Math Activities for Secondary Teachers". As part of this class we need to do 20 hours this semester of class room observation. The placement options were posted today and they were ALL grade A high schools (where we, as new teachers have NO hope of getting a job). Well, this should be useful. Let me go and observe this "great" teacher who is teaching math to kids who already want to learn. That should be useful in my teaching career. I e-mailed my teacher and asked her if she could find me a placement in a city school. I think she probably gagged on her coffee because her reply was that nobody had ever asked her that before. She said she's look into it. I'm guessing, however, that for the next 10 weeks I'll be sitting in the back of some Upper Middle Class 100% white AP Calculus class (or something eqully dull). Gosh, the other kids in my class will really get a good taste of what teaching is like, won't they?
I sound bitter, do I sound bitter? I guess the two articles on the radio about recess and the gun buy back just sent me over the edge today.
From the sounds of it, Jimmy has had enough too - you should go read his latest post
Since I didn't have breakfast, maybe I'll go find myself somethin' for an early lunch. (That way I can avoid that homework just a little bit longer!)
On a similar subject. Our local police forces are sponsoring a gun buy back program this weekend. Now, I'm all for getting guns off the street and I'm sure there are plenty of statistics that say the buy back programs work. BUT, and come along with me now. They are offering to give debit cards in exchange for these guns (because money is the only incentive that "works"). Well, what about the rest of us law abiding citizens who DON'T have illegal firearms in our homes? Dang, I could use $100 to spend at our local Meijer store. But hey, let's just keep rewarding the criminals. We're doing it on a lesser level in our school systems so why not in the entire community through the police force. Yeah, that works for me too.
(As usual, I should be working on homework.....can you tell I'm rushing right off to do that?)
One of the classes that I am taking is a class called "Math Activities for Secondary Teachers". As part of this class we need to do 20 hours this semester of class room observation. The placement options were posted today and they were ALL grade A high schools (where we, as new teachers have NO hope of getting a job). Well, this should be useful. Let me go and observe this "great" teacher who is teaching math to kids who already want to learn. That should be useful in my teaching career. I e-mailed my teacher and asked her if she could find me a placement in a city school. I think she probably gagged on her coffee because her reply was that nobody had ever asked her that before. She said she's look into it. I'm guessing, however, that for the next 10 weeks I'll be sitting in the back of some Upper Middle Class 100% white AP Calculus class (or something eqully dull). Gosh, the other kids in my class will really get a good taste of what teaching is like, won't they?
I sound bitter, do I sound bitter? I guess the two articles on the radio about recess and the gun buy back just sent me over the edge today.
From the sounds of it, Jimmy has had enough too - you should go read his latest post
Since I didn't have breakfast, maybe I'll go find myself somethin' for an early lunch. (That way I can avoid that homework just a little bit longer!)
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Respite
Thousands of parents across the country are full of mixed emotions today.
BACK TO SCHOOL!!
You're happy that you don't have to hear "I'm bored" one more time. You're happy that your job as chauffer is now limited to after school. You're thrilled that education is back in the forefront of your child's mind.
But, you'll miss them (ok, not all the time, but the house does seem blissfully quiet today).
Princess started 3rd grade today (really, she did, I have pictures that sort of prove it, but camera is NOT cooperating). She looked adorable! I'm not sure she really wanted to go, but by the time I picked her up I saw nothing but grins :-) She can't wait to go back tomorrow. They all got the cutest little "homework organizers" as gifts from their teachers. She feels so grown up! Now if I can just get her to fall asleep tonight!
Last night was the longest ever. She was so worked up about school she couldn't fall asleep. And then woke up at 5 this morning with a tummy ache. I wasn't sure she was going to make it to school. Ah well, she's good and exhausted now and when she gets back from idiot's and crawls in bed she is going to fall asleep in about 2 seconds.
Back to school for me tomorrow (and gosh you'll be surprised to hear I have only finished about 1/3 of my homework). I'm gonna be up late tonight - with nobody to blame but myself!
BACK TO SCHOOL!!
You're happy that you don't have to hear "I'm bored" one more time. You're happy that your job as chauffer is now limited to after school. You're thrilled that education is back in the forefront of your child's mind.
But, you'll miss them (ok, not all the time, but the house does seem blissfully quiet today).
Princess started 3rd grade today (really, she did, I have pictures that sort of prove it, but camera is NOT cooperating). She looked adorable! I'm not sure she really wanted to go, but by the time I picked her up I saw nothing but grins :-) She can't wait to go back tomorrow. They all got the cutest little "homework organizers" as gifts from their teachers. She feels so grown up! Now if I can just get her to fall asleep tonight!
Last night was the longest ever. She was so worked up about school she couldn't fall asleep. And then woke up at 5 this morning with a tummy ache. I wasn't sure she was going to make it to school. Ah well, she's good and exhausted now and when she gets back from idiot's and crawls in bed she is going to fall asleep in about 2 seconds.
Back to school for me tomorrow (and gosh you'll be surprised to hear I have only finished about 1/3 of my homework). I'm gonna be up late tonight - with nobody to blame but myself!
Monday, September 04, 2006
Labor Day
The work force is what makes America great. It's what makes us different from so much of the rest of the world. If you're lucky enough to find a job and work hard, you can "live the American dream". You can have a family and a house and food on your table - so many choices that most people in the world can't comprehend it when it is explained to them. They simply have no frame of reference for a WalMart!
And I know it's not Memorial Day or Armed Forces day, but let's say a special prayer for the soldiers who are out there on the front lines, who have worked every day they have been deployed, only enjoying a rare "day off".
Enjoy a few words about the war from the point of view of a soldier and go
visit John
And I know it's not Memorial Day or Armed Forces day, but let's say a special prayer for the soldiers who are out there on the front lines, who have worked every day they have been deployed, only enjoying a rare "day off".
Enjoy a few words about the war from the point of view of a soldier and go
visit John
Saturday, September 02, 2006
No homework for miles
We spent most of the day at my mom's house where Princess amused herself helping Papa scrape paint. They worked on the front picture window and the frame around the garage. They might even get it painted this weekend. My mom will probably die if they do - my dad is not one that is known for finishing projects that he starts. Several times today her refered to princess as a slave driver! rofl Throughout the day we played Zooreka on and off. This game rocks! It's a Cranium product and it's tons of fun. If you have kids you need to have at least one Cranium game in your inventory!
The rest of the time (you know, when I SHOULD have been doing homework) I was reading Godless by Ann Coulter. She cracks me up! (and in a good way). I can't say I've ever leaned to the left in my political views, and I seem to lean more right the older I get. Well, except for the gun thing, I really don't get the gun thing. Mostly what I don't understand is why 70% of the country claims to be Christian and yet we sit silently and hide our light in a closet instead of taking a stand. And, ok, reading Ann Coulter and Christians taking a stand don't exactly have anything to do with each other, it's just sort of where my brain went today.
Have I mentioned that I'm taking Princess to see the Cheetah Girls in concert in November? ACK! 36.50 a ticket PLUS THIRTEEN, yes THIRTEEN dollars in fees! for a stinkin concert (i guess disney knows how to make money!) I'm bringing reinforcements in the form of Sweetie and her mom and we are going to make a night of it. If you're going to get fleeced in Detroit it's always good to go with friends :-)
I got Batman Begins on sale today at Target for ten bucks. That doesn't have much to do with the rest of the post, but gosh what a deal!
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Things I meant to do.....
But, it's 9:00, I'm watching Gray's Anatomy and I am just exhausted. We did NOT ride the train today. Princess decided that she didn't want to ride it bad enough to arrive for the 6:35 departure (thank goodness). We DID go to Michigan Adventure today, which was a blast! I cannot believe how lucky we got with our amusement park trips this year. Hardly anybody at the park today, the longest we waited for a ride was MAYBE 5 minutes. But it was rare to have to wait at all. We had tons of fun. Princess wanted to stay, but I told her 5 hours was enough for mom! We headed back home and dragged ourselves to orientation at school tonight. Listened to the usual blather about our high academic standards, high behavioral standards, moral focus, yadda yadda. Don't get me wrong, I do love our school but it gets old dragging yourself into a mandatory meeting every year to listen to the same thing. Turns out last school year our school ranked #4 out of the 51 charter schools in our organization. (I knew we were good!)
Princess got to see some friends she hadn't seen all summer. Tomorrow we are going ice skating one last time before school starts for her. And it turns out her "boyfriend" is going to be there too. Ah, young love :-)
So, where was I going with all this? Oh yeah, I'm sitting here stuffing my face with my mom's homemade apple pie. And I do mean home-made. Crust from scratch and everything. It's heaven. Trying very hard not to remember all the things I should be doing. I'd like to be sleeping. But that homework isn't going anywhere, and I should get to that sooner rather than later.
Monday, August 28, 2006
And so it begins...
Fast forward to my first class at 9 this morning. The teacher was great, the class is going to be everything I hoped it would be AND he teaches Calc 3, which I wasn't able to get into this semester. AND he teaches at 10, right after the other class. So, I thought, what the heck....can't hurt to ask......And after class I asked him if he would grant me a closed class permit to take his Calc 3. He asked me what else I was taking and we went over my schedule, in the end he granted me a closed class permit for his Calc 3 section and the class that he teaches at 11 (which I was going to take with another prof on T/H). I guess I best hope that he turns out to be as nice as he seems since I am going to be spending 3 hours in a row with him MW and Friday! This is going to mean dropping my Educational Psychology class, but I can take that next semester.....or maybe CLEP it? I haven't decided yet. My original plan was to CLEP it, but I need to bring my overall psych GPA up.....
Ah well, one thing at a time, right?
My class this evening was an entirely "other" story. Not sure I'm going to like it! But, it's required to get into the College of Education, so I don't have a choice. It's only a 3 credit class and we meet twice a week for 1 hr & 50 minutes. PLUS we are required to observe 2 hours a week at a local high school PLUS the additional homework, etc..... This is SO NOT a 3 credit class! I'm emailing the department tonight to ask them just what they are thinking!
Not that they'll care, I'm sure - LOL
Poor Princess is suffering from emotional overload. She spent almost a week with just my mom up north the week I took finals week. Then I worked so many hours last week and now she's just ready to have a down day with boring old mom and Thursday seems to be too far off! I'll be thankful when school starts for her next week and we can be back to a normal schedule.
And can somebody please tell me.....
Where did this summer go?!!
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